


Sincerely Yours

by QueeniesUnion



Category: Dear Sidewalk (2013)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:41:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24637738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueeniesUnion/pseuds/QueeniesUnion
Summary: One day, Gardner comes across the town’s librarian, Audrey Ezra, prompting him to begin a daily visit to the library. Rekindling his childhood love of books, Gardner became intrigued with the mysterious British bookworm he’d observe every morning.
Relationships: Gardner Langway/Original Female Character, Joe Mazzello/Original Female Character(s), Joe Mazzello/Reader





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Series also available on tumblr (@queeniesunion) and soon-to-be wattpad

_Dear Gardner,_

_You’d be surprised how many people don’t know their librarian’s first name. You might also be surprised how much we know about you, just by the books you borrow._

_It can be the highlight of my day really… I’ve read most of the books here that I care to, so to piece together the puzzles of someone’s story by analysing what they like to read, it’s truly… wow, this sounds utterly dull and depressing, doesn’t it?_

_It all sounds rather intriguing when I word it like that, but… taking into account the amount of people that drop by the library these days… I could spend an entire day in there without speaking to a soul. And once upon time, that was the way I liked it. The solitude made it easier to consume myself in the books I’d read to pass the time — I was in a world where my fantasies were my true happiness._

_Hidden in between those bookshelves, I could be whoever I wanted to be — a teenager pacing around her balcony torn between her family and the love of her life, a bloodthirsty demon seeking to spread the undead curse, a promising wizard emancipated from his cupboard under the stairs — you name it._

_It was the day that I picked up a book and found myself unable to immerse myself in those fictional worlds, that I knew something in me had irreparably changed. And for this, I point the blame to you._

_Because of you, the sentences in each book became mere blurry lines. Because of you, trying to dream about me being anything other than myself was suddenly pointless. It didn’t matter how heroic or magical those characters were, because you weren’t a part of their story in each chapter. I didn’t know what to do with myself anymore and it drove me crazy trying to figure out why. It took me a while until I realised that the story I didn’t know I always wanted to be a part of was coming true. My reality became wildly more blissful than any fantasy that I ever sought comfort in before._

_I wish I came to terms with all this earlier. But no matter how much has changed now, I don’t think it’s ever too late to credit the people who made the chapters of your life not only bearable, but something worth telling and looking back on for the rest of your life._

_You ruined me. But maybe that’s just what I needed. And for that, I can’t thank you enough. I wish you all the best. In everything._

_Sincerely Yours,_

_Audrey Ezra_


	2. Something Lost

Gardner looked down at his watch. 8:15am on the dot.

In about seven seconds, Mrs. Avery would reach her hand from her kitchen window to pluck an orange from the tree that sat nearby. 

In about twenty-eight seconds, young Jonathan having had slept in yet again would rush out his house in a dishevelled state sprinting towards his bus stop. 

In about forty seconds, Allison, the waitress from the diner off the corner of Clifford Lane would sneakily emerge from the front door of the Bennett’s home. This one in particular was a new routine. Mrs Bennett had been out of town the past couple weeks and a certain Mr. Bennett was rather pleased with this.

It was in between the seconds of Mrs. Avery plucking an orange from her tree and Jonathan sprinting out of his home to rush to school, that Gardner reluctantly acknowledged how mundane of a routine he had fallen into. Sure, it had been long since he worked as a mail carrier. And with that, came the assumption that he wouldn’t _always_ have the same routine — walking the same route, interacting with the same people — every single day. 

But at the very least, he was looking up at his surroundings a lot more than he used to. Mainly because of her… her voice and her words kept resurfacing in his head, _“No, don’t look down”_. He wondered whether he had slowly begun adopting this habit purely out of the interest of switching up his morning walks, or it was something he did just to shake her voice out of his head.

Morning walks were rituals he would never give up, whether or not it was part of a job. It was the highlight of his day — Not needing to think and letting the patterns of the sidewalk guide his walk and guide his mind to blissful numbness. It was a short debate in his mind whether he should change the routine for the day, whether it be turning a different street, deciding to take the bus somewhere instead, or even going back home to play video games with Calvin. Anything could happen with the slightest change. 

As Gardner turned the corner, his feet stopped just before a crack in the sidewalk. Had he _completely_ broken the habit of looking down as he walked, he wouldn’t of noticed the small emerald ring stuck between the gaps of dried cement. 

Furrowing his brows, Gardner reached down to pick it up. Attached to it was a chain that dangled beside his hand. He observed it closely, admiring the way the sun shone through the tiny crystal in a green tinted beam. It was no doubt a valuable possession. 

Gardner was looking around for any sign as to where it might’ve come from. At first he looked at a few passerby’s that could’ve possibly dropped it, before his eyes fell back the sidewalk. His eyes drifted slightly to the left to spot a tiny maroon leather bound notebook buried under a few strands of overgrown lawn. 

Clutching carefully onto the ring with one hand, he used the other to pick the notebook up, careful not to get any more dirt on it. It fit perfectly his palm and upon observing it closely he realised that the leather had been hand-stitched and beautifully so. Embossed across the front of it was the name _A. E. Ezra._

Gardner let his fingers graze across the surface of the book, feeling the embossed letters as the name escaped his lips in a low whisper. “A. E. Ezra”

He bit his lip as he rummaged his mind for that name. He had seen it before, perhaps through letter correspondence. “Ezra… Ezra… Ezra…” No faces came with the name as he chanted it to himself.

Gardner narrowed his eyes in concentration as he began flicking through the notebook, looking for more hints. Though it didn’t take long for him to realise that the contents of the notebook were indeed personal. Instinctively he put his eyes out of focus as he blurred away what he assumed to be small diary entries. Instead he drew focus to the dates and locations written on the top of each entry. 

This proved to be useful, as no matter how many different dates there were for each entry, the location was always the same — Faith Library.

• 

There weren’t many passerby’s at the library, and if there were, their visits were few — The occasional diligent student researching for an assignment in the afternoons, or the frequent procrastinating student looking for somewhere to print their assignment in the mornings before school commences. Father Deacon would often drop by in the earlier hours of the day to ‘brush up on the scriptures’, though Audrey knew it was a mere guise to occasionally keep her company. It was incredibly sweet of the man, and although she appreciated the gesture, she found herself feeling quite bleak after his pep talks. Trudy was one semi-casual, particularly loquacious passerby whose visits tended to intrigue, yet also concern Audrey as she’d observe the kinds of DIY books Trudy would check out.

Some other people would come in for a quiet read, but barely interact with her. A polite nod or smile as she’d help direct them to certain sections or help check out books for them, at most. But that was the way she liked it. Any more interaction than that would ripped her away from how consumed she was by the story she was reading for the day.

In fact, on one too many occasions, someone would have to tap her on the shoulder after a while of trying to get her attention because of how much a book could take hold of her focus. It was a common misconception that her passionate love of books would’ve made her great at her job, but truth be told it was the very thing that distracted her from getting much work done at all. Though that didn’t matter. Days could go by and no one notice whether work was to be done or not.

Audrey looked up from her book with a quizzical brow as she heard the door swing open with a loud bang. After sighing with relief from the brief scare, she chuckled to herself upon seeing it was merely a strong gust of wind. Only a second had passed where she entertained the idea of someone else dropping by.

Though before she could bury her nose back in her book, her eyes darted to her right to meet a pair of hazel ones.

Taken aback by the sudden contact, she raised her chin to see who had seemingly been observing her for a while. 

Gardner had almost slipped off the pillar he was leaning on as the girl he had been watching turned to face him.

When Gardner entered the library, he had walked right towards the main desk where she was seated. His search was a success as the name tag on her collar spelt _Audrey Ezra._ Gardner had cleared his throat four times to get her attention with no luck. Afterwhich, it must’ve been an entire minute where he simply stared at her, watching as her eyes trailed across the words in her novel. 

He didn’t mind waiting, though he didn’t expect to be so entranced watching someone do something as simple as reading a book. The way her fingers danced across the corners of each bit of paper in antipation of turning the page. How her chin rested in her palm as her fingers delicately grazed her slightly parted lips. How a faint hum would escape her every now and then as if in response to whatever she was reading. 

Presumably, now that she was facing him, the trance would’ve ceased. Though now that he saw her eyes, her look became complete picture. Doe-brown eyes were charmingly framed with a wavy curtain of brown hair, styled accordingly to the dress she wore which was rather old fashioned with its A-line cut. Though given the 1940s design of the library, he looked more out of place than she did. While admiration was undoubtedly shining through Gardner’s eyes, his fixation was on the confusion of never having seen her before, especially given how distinctive she looked.

“Oh!” Audrey exclaimed as she scrambled her book shut, chiding herself. “Sorry, I hope you haven’t been standing there long.” Audrey shook herself into concentration, adjusting her posture as she greeted him warmly. “What can I do for you?”

And there the trance had broken, though replaced itself with a new one as he heard the soft voice that emerged from her. Gardner’s mouth opened and closed repeatedly, unable to find what to say. “You’re… British.” And having heard what he did just say, he bit his lip believing it best he never tried saying anything at all.

Audrey’s customer service persona faltered slightly as she observed him properly. She fidgeted with the hem of her sleeve as his eyes bore into hers. After a pause, and mustering the courage to make a remark upon seeing how sheepish he was, she countered, “Well spotted.” 

It was a relief to hear her respond somewhat humorously. He allowed himself a slight smile, before clearing his throat and straightening his posture. “I was looking for you, Miss Ezra.”

Audrey, taken aback by his sudden man-of-action demanour, leaned back in her seat slightly. “Why?”

Gardner frowned, rather oblivious to how his tone would’ve caused her worry. “I just…” Gingerly reaching into his pocket, his face dropped. The ring was still there, but as his fingers grasped it, he felt a roughness to the once smooth cut crystal. His fingers stretched out to feel the piece that had chipped off and he closed his eyes in dread. He didn’t know at what point he had damaged it or how, but cursed in his head, realising that his pocket wasn’t particularly a wise place to put it in the first place.

Gardner looked up at her, eyes slightly widened. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise…”

Audrey greeted his words with a perplexed frown, she stood up from her seat, instinctively seeking to help the man who seemed in distress.

“Sir, are you alright?”

Gardner shook his head and sighed. He pulled the ring from his pocket, holding it out to her by the chain, dreading her reaction. Audrey’s eyes gleamed at the sight of it, watching it dangle before her. A mix between a shaky sigh and a delighted chuckle escaped her as she reached her hands towards it. “Oh my— w-where did you find…” Her words trailed off as her fingers caught it from dangling in the air any further. Almost immediately, the unfamiliar rough texture of the ring’s center caught her attention.

Gardner bit his lip awaiting the reaction to wash over her. “I-I should’ve been more careful, it was fine when I found it—”

“Where did you find it?” Audrey looked up at him. Gardner took a moment to process her expression. No glint of sadness or anger, but simply curiosity and even delight.

Gardner pressed his lips together. “It was on the sidewalk. Right by Crawford street.”

“I thought I lost it for good…” She whispered almost to herself.

The corners of Audrey’s lips twitched up as her fingers faintly traced the emerald surface. Her lips pressed together as tears began to prick her eyes. She bowed her head down, hoping for her fringe to silhouette her eyes from the man’s view. She tried to steady her voice. “You…” Her voice faltered as her fingers lingered on the ring.

Gardner hadn’t allowed relief to wash over him just yet. And he believed he was right to do so as he heard a faint drop on the desk in between them. He looked down at the desk to see that a spot of paper had been faintly wet and raising his eyebrows, he looked to see drops of tears escaping her face. He couldn’t get a good look at her, as her head faced down, but he didn’t try to. His first instinct was to stiffen up and back slightly away from her.

Gardner couldn’t recall the last time he dealt with a woman crying in front of him, let alone a woman who cried because of his doing.

“Miss Ezra, I’m so sorry, I— uh…” Gardner rummaged through his other pocket, pulling out his wallet. “I-I’m sure it’s much more valuable than…” He pulled out all the cash he on him, briskly muttering as he counted. “…35 dollars… but, uh, please…” He placed the cash on the desk in front of her.

Audrey looked at the cash sitting on the desk then up at him. Bewildered that the man who had retrieved her most prized possession was apologising for it, she opened her mouth to speak.

Though as the sight of her tear-stained cheeks and glistening eyes came into clear view, Gardner’s jaw clenched in discomfort. 

While Audrey’s tears came from relief and bliss, she realised the man had interpreted it differently. “Oh, no… sir, it’s—”

“No, I…” Gardner didn’t know where that sentence would carry him. He thought only to apologise, but wasn’t certain how to remedy what he’d done. 

“Sir, please.” Audrey took the liberty of carrying the conversation, and Gardner thinking it best for her to speak instead, closed his mouth.

Gardner couldn’t help but furrow his brows being addressed as ‘sir’. Though it was a common polite term, there was something rare and old fashioned about the way spoke and carried herself, particularly the way she held her shoulders back while wearing a warm smile.

Audrey picked up the cash and reached for his hand. She rested the money in his palm and gently curled his fingers so that he was holding onto it. Gardner’s insincts told him to let go of the money, insist she take it and even promise further payment to help with the damage, but his body stiffened, as her hands were holding his closed fist.

As Audrey met eyes with him once more, it struck her. How easily she reached towards his hand, how she has no hesitation shedding slight tears in front of a stranger. It was the wave of joy of seeing her father’s ring again that seemed to repel any nerves for her. But its effect was slowly withering now.

She decided to speak while her gratitude was still helping to dilute her usual shyness. “Thank you.” She smiled. “Really… There really isn’t much damage. None at all, taking into account that I thought I’d never see it again.” Audrey chuckled slightly.

Gardner hadn’t quite processed her words, but his worries about the damage were surely fading. His mind was fixed on the feeling of her fingers clasping lightly around his. His palms began to perspire against the cash he was holding onto. Audrey followed as his eyes slightly flickered to their joined hands. She hadn’t noticed until now.

Audrey let him go quickly under the guise of needing to pull back strands of her hair from her face.

Gardner hadn’t noticed just how much he was leaning into her touch until he felt how heavily his arm dropped beside him as she let go.

There was a pause between them, and Gardner took a moment to listen how the library muffled every sound from outside. He could hear every page turn from the few people that were in here, and each movement they made created a faint echo. No doubt people would’ve overheard every word of their conversation, but it was a place where everyone could be so consumed in their own world that he didn’t seem self-conscious about it.

“Is there anything I can do for you, sir?” His attention returned to the friendly librarian.

Gardner frowned as his eyes trailed down her cheeks. Though she shed tears only briefly her cheeks were still stained and slightly wet. He pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket, holding it out in front of her.

Audrey’s eyebrows raised as she looked at it. “You… carry a handkerchief?” There was some delight Audrey found in the prospect of men carrying around handkerchiefs these days.

“Not usually, no. My friend Trudy stitched it for me the other day.”

“Trudy…?” The corners of Audrey’s lips began to etch upwards as she looked him up and down. Hazel brown eyes, ginger hair, polo shirt, a somewhat stiff demeanour and a fixed frown expression worn for all occasion. Just as Trudy described her strange neurotic friend. “Gardner.” Audrey said slowly.

Gardner’s frown softened upon hear his name coated in her voice. “How did you…?”

Gardner trailed off. Ezra. That name. He heard it in Trudy’s voice this time. Faint recounts played back in his head. How Trudy would describe how Faith Library felt like going escaping back in time. How Ezra, ‘the beautiful basketcase’ was as much part of the library as the bookshelves drilled against the walls.

“Small town.” Audrey replied, taking the handkerchief and nodding at him as thanks.

Audrey dabbed lightly at her cheeks before handing it back to him.

Gardner shook his head. “Keep it for now.” He nodded towards the piles of books stacked on the cart beside Audrey’s desk. “You should probably be getting back to work now, shouldn’t you?”

Audrey looked over and sighed. “Seems so…” she suppose she couldn’t of dragged out her break much longer.

“Well, then I’ll leave you to it.” Gardner said bluntly before turning his heel and beginning to walk off.

Audrey bit her lip, taken aback by his brisk departure. “Uh— sir.”

Gardner turned back around. “Um, Gardner, I’d prefer. Now that you know my name.”

“Right, of course.” She chuckled sheepishly. “Um… just wanted to say thanks… again.” 

“You’re welcome.” A sharp nod of his head and he turned his heel again, heading towards the door.

Audrey wanted to call after him again. She wasn’t sure what exactly she would say. But if she didn’t know any better, she’d guess that she wanted to talk to him for longer. A rare sensation she had with people at the library. Oftentimes, gestures and conversations beyond polite requests and ‘thank you’s would have her yearning for solitude again.

Audrey watched as Gardner stepped outside, his hair brightening as the sunlight swallowed him from the dimness of the library. She watched him leave, feeling a slight frown dawn upon her face. Her mind replayed the last couple minutes for her as she proceeded to push her cart, ready to continue with today’s duties.

Gardner stopped by the sidewalk, turning round to get one last look at the building. He hadn’t gone inside for years, and he thought of all the times he almost did in between the last time he did until now, chiding himself for not doing so.

Gardner didn’t share Audrey’s disappointment of having left and possibly not seeing again.

As he continued walking, his hand reached back in his pocket, letting his fingers trace around the leather bound notebook, he had oh-so-foolishly forgotten to give to her. The corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly. Might be too late to go back now, she’s busy working.

Looks like he had to return tomorrow morning to give it to her.


	3. Kaleidoscopic Sanctuary

“What am I doing?” Gardner muttered to himself, dumbfound at his reflection in the glass door.

Gardner had gotten up that morning, waking up with the chore of reuniting Audrey with her notebook, cemented in his mind. And once his mind was set in a task, he never skipped a beat in his determination to get it done, no matter what it was.

What he failed to stop and think about was how early he was accustomed to getting up in the morning, and how taking into account the opening hours of the library would’ve been of some use to him. From the moment he woke up, his mind was only focused on the notebook and getting to the library. He had even ensured the notebook wasn’t stuffed in his pocket, and instead held on firmly with his hand, never to let go until it was to be placed gently in Audrey’s hands.

How would the girl in the library react, Gardner wondered. Would she smile politely and give him a gracious nod? Would she grin ear to ear and take his hands in hers, showering him with multiple ‘thank you’s? Would she be brought to tears of relief much like she was with the ring he returned to her? Or… would she be more ecstatic than that, so much so that she would inch towards him, look at him tenderly and bring her arms around hi—

That’s as far as Gardner’s thoughts went until he came face to face with the library’s sign stuck on the glass door. He frowned.

**OPENING HOURS: 8:30am — 6:00pm**

He was an hour and a half too early.

His eyes drifted to his reflection and he stared back at his blank face. How could he let his mind slip like that? Of course it wasn’t open this early.

“What am I doing…?” He muttered once more. He sighed and closed his eyes leaning forward to rest his forehead against the door.

Though as his weight inched forward, the door swiftly swung open, causing Gardner to stumble inside. Gardner froze after charging in unintentionally. The door was unlocked.

He gulped, debating whether to close the door behind him and wander round inside or leave and come back when it was open to the public.

“Erm— Hello?” Though he spoke softly, his voice echoed the building.

Gardner had decided to wander inside and after making his presence known with no response, he proceeded forward.

The library was dimly lit with the occasional burst of sunlight streaming in with different colours from each stained glass window. There was something in the air of the building that made him feel like he teleported somewhere else entirely. As if he was physically walking through the pockets of his own mind. It was calming to be somewhere that muffled every sound and sight from the outdoors.

Gardner’s head perked up as he heard a light trotting of footsteps. He wasn’t alone. It was hard to tell just where the footsteps were coming from as its echo vibrated everywhere, but he trusted his feet to carry him to the source as he walked upstairs.

The sound of the footsteps stopped but Gardner kept walking, turning corners round shelves and walking his way round the library without thinking. He didn’t know how to explain it. But he just knew where he was going. He knew that wherever his feet would take him it would lead him to…

…Her. There she was. Gardner eyes caught sight of a familiar mop of dark hair through the gaps between the book shelf.

Gardner found himself adjusting his height up and down to peer through gaps in between the books of the shelf that separated them. He could only catch glimpses of her. From what he gathered, she was pacing slightly back and forth while reading a book in her hand. Zoned out and completely oblivious to his presence, no doubt.

Her eyes were gliding smoothly side to side savouring the words she was reading. The faint fluttering of her blinking showed a dreamy fixation with the story she was immersing herself into. And her lips were parted, moving ever so slightly as she silently recited the words she’d read.

Had he cleared his throat or greeted her, he would’ve broken what looked like a blissful trance for her.

As far as Audrey was concerned, she was pacing back and forth the elegant halls of her husband’s estate, and her name wasn’t Audrey, it was Constance de Bonacieux. She smiled as she felt a presence looming over her shoulder. D’Artagnan. Turning around she met eyes with him. Audrey felt herself slipping in and out of her daydream. There was something particularly vivid about this one. She has always had strong visions of what the characters would look like but there was something particular about D’Artagnan. She let the vision continue as she let her eyes trail along the page in reality. It was the dead of the night as her nightgown only faintly covered her skin from the cold, though her face grew with heat as she looked up at D’Artagnan. Dishevelled with his shirt disarrayed and his ginger hair raised in a slightly tangled mess, he stepped towards her. Audrey blinked at him, getting a closer look. Her eyes came into focus to a pair of slightly familiar hazel eyes staring deeply into hers. She raised her eyebrows slowly slipping out of her vision. “Gardner…?”

“Yes?”

A voice broke her from her daydream. It was too vivid to be part of her imagination. It sliced through her trance so thoroughly, she jumped and gasped, her head making a sharp turn towards the shelf beside her.

Gardner’s eyes widened, startled by her own shock. She said his name, so he thought she must’ve seen him. “Sorry, I—“

Audrey let out a startled noise yet again, her eyes scanning feverishly for the source of the voice.

Gardner reached his hand and pulled out a couple books from the shelf between them, making his face visible to her. “H-Hi. Sorry— It’s just me.”

She met eyes with him. Blinking a few times just to be sure she was completely conscious. “Oh, Gardner!” Audrey put a hand to her chest as it rose up and down rapidly as she recovered from the slight scare. She let out a sigh, leaning against the shelf that separated them before looking through the gap he made. “It’s just you…”

Gardner drew his lips in a thin line, sheepishly. “Sorry… The door was open.”

“It was?”

“Well, unlocked.”

“You saw the sign?”

“Well, yes.”

“But you still came in.” That came out more blunt than Audrey intended for it to sound. But the slight disorientation she felt having been caught in one of her reading-high visions brought a crimson shade to her cheeks.

Gardner took notice immediately. “Er— yes… I’m sorry, I should’ve…”

“No, it’s fine.” Audrey mumbled after realising how harsh her tone may of sounded.

“No, it’s not.” Gardner said. “I was intruding.” He knew how discomforting it could be for someone to intrude on their space at work, no matter how harmless their intentions were. Gardner had all the space in the world with his old job, he had the entire sidewalk to himself at times and even then, his solitude was precious to him.

Audrey shook her head. “It’s a public library, sir.”

He frowned. “I told you, it’s Gardner.”

“Gardner.” She corrected herself.

“Why does Trudy call you Ezra?” Gardner asked as soon as the question popped in his head.

Audrey furrowed her brows. She was still recovering from being interrupted, and was struggling to keep up with the rapid back and forth conversing now happening between them. “Well, everybody does. It’s my name.”

“But why not Au—“

Audrey cringed and shook her head. “Oh please, Ezra’s fine. My father used to work here many years ago, before he moved to England. Some people recognised me and called me Ezra just as they did with him. You know how it is with small towns — where there’s a way to refrain as much change as possible, there’s a will.”

Gardner nodded. Though he was tempted to call her Audrey, he respected her request. “Ezra, it is.”

Audrey smiled a little. “Besides… ‘Audrey’ is just so…”

“You don’t like it?”

“Not particularly. It’s somewhat… distinctive.” She frowned.

Gardner, though perplexed, decided to leave it at that.

“What are you doing here so early anyway?” Audrey smiled. “That wasn’t an objection, just curiosity.”

The notebook was still safely clasped in Gardner’s hand, though as he returned a small smile to her warm expression, something possessed him to tuck the notebook into his pocket away from sight.

“I… uh, I go on early morning walks.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and I was passing through and thought I’d…” Gardner’s eyes trailed across the room.

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” Audrey grinned watching as the colours of the stained glass windows beamed around him. “Contrary to popular belief, I do actually love the sunlight. This area of the library is my favourite.”

Gardner’s eyes lingered on her face as she gazed and smiled to herself.

“The sun streaming through the stained glass in all kinds of shades, shining on each book. And out of the thousands of books there’s a whole intricate world inside each… Kind of like…”

“A kaleidoscope.”

Gardner found a smile twitch across his face. It was an effective analogy to describe anyone’s idea of a sanctuary, it was fitting to describe her enjoyment of a library just as it was to describe his enjoyment of a sidewalk. Seemingly mundane to the everyday passerby, though it’s transformation can be grand when seeing it through the kaleidoscopic lens of the person who loves it.

Audrey looked up at Gardner who was now delicately gliding his fingers along the spine of each book. “Precisely…” she chuckled to herself slightly. “I… never thought of it like that. All of a sudden it doesn’t sound so dull.”

“When was it ever dull?” The crease in between his eyebrows deepened as he frowned.

“Isn’t it, though?” Audrey chuckled. “Not as intriguing as delivering mail.”

Gardner forced a slight chuckle as well.

“Oh, that wasn’t a joke.” Audrey said.

“What’s so intriguing about the mail?” Gardner, although having gone without his job for a while, still had a place in his heart for it. He could list all that he found intriguing about it, but to hear it from someone else was rare.

“Mail — it’s what connects us. People communicate thanks to people like you.”

“Used to.” Gardner responded abruptly. It wasn’t him speaking, ‘her’ words had resurfaced as he tried to recall the last time he explained the importance of his old job.

“What?”

“Well, not so much anymore. Most people think letters as a form of communication are dated.”

Audrey shrugged, while putting a book back in place on the shelf. “That’s one way of looking at it.”

While she pushed her cart and walked to the end of the aisle, Gardner followed along on his side, soon meeting her on the other end.

“Well then how do _you_ look at it?”

Audrey smiled to herself before looking down. “If I send you an email this moment to say that I love you…”

Gardner’s eyes flickered up as he gulped. Though bewilderment clouded him, he let her continue.

“…you’ll read my words later today… If I send you my love in a letter by post, you’ll receive it tomorrow… Which do you like most? An immediate email? A letter to fold? Which would you rather read, touch, smell — keep hold?”

Gardner’s face was misted with a mixture of awe and contemplation. As Audrey looked up at him only to be greeted by silence, she bit her lip.

“Ludwig VanDerwater.”

“Hm?” Gardner made a questioning sound, partially too entranced in thought to respond with words.

“She’s a children’s author… That was part of a series of poems she did.” She shrugged. “I don’t know, it was just a thought. Call me old-fashioned but I’ll always prefer handwritten letters. Perhaps one too many Austen novels is the catalyst of that mindset. Not that you would’ve delivered many handwritten letters, I’m sure most of what you deliver are bills, junk mail and magazines— Not that that’s not important as well! I only meant—“

“Thank you.” Gardner smiled a little.

There was a pause of silence while Audrey caught her breath and allowed Gardner’s calm demeanour to dilute her nervous ramblings. “For what?” She finally said.

“I loved my job.” He said. “I worked as a mail carrier for a long time. Yet never thought of it the way you do. It’s nice.” Gardner sighed to himself. He wished he could’ve articulated himself a bit better. To hear a new spark of intrigue from someone new about his old job… it almost felt like a different passion he never had for it was coming to life.

Audrey smiled at him. “What was it about being mail carrier that you loved the most?”

Gardner looked at her in silence for a few moments. Perhaps he was waiting for a mocking giggle or an indication that the question she had asked was out of mere politeness. But no, she waited patiently for him to gather his thoughts to answer. And when he did he found himself going off on a tangent, endlessly rambling.

Gardner walked alongside Audrey. She listened quietly while putting away books in their home on the shelf. Whenever Gardner dared to think his ramblings became a burden, Audrey would nod at him, urging him to continue.

“Yeah… 1833 pieces of mail… around 300 households. Everyday. Yet somehow… I never got tired of it.”

“Blimey…” Audrey let out a faint chuckle as she got out another book from the cart. Gardner watched as she looked back and forth between the spine of the book and the shelf, before sighing as she looked up at one of the higher shelves.

Audrey reached up, straining slightly as she stood on her toes, struggling to put the book in its place higher up. It hadn’t clicked for Gardner to help her. At least until her skirt began riding up her thighs as she stretched herself upwards. Forcing himself to dart his eyes up once he had caught a glimpse of the top of her stockings, he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Here, let me.” Gardner took the book from her hands and placed it in its spot with ease. “Here?”

“Erm, yes. Just there.” Audrey gulped as she felt Gardner towering over her shoulder as he leaned lightly against her to reach the shelf. “Thank you.”

Gardner looked down at her as she turned around to face him. Their arms were brushing ever so slightly by how close they were. Gardner traced the features of her face with his eyes before they trailed down her neck. He raised his eyebrows. “Your ring…”

Audrey looked down. “Oh, yes.” The ring that Gardner had returned to her settled on her chest as a necklace. “Thanks again, by the way. Really, it means a lot.”

Gardner nodded a little. “You… wear it round your neck?”

“Yeah, it’s a tad too big to fit on my finger. It was my father’s.”

“I see.” Gardner was beginning to formulate a follow up question in his head before Audrey interrupted him.

“Anyway, I think that’s the last of them.” She gestured to the empty cart. “Not much left to do before I move the sign and open up.”

Gardner checked his watch. “You still have about an hour.”

“Yeah I usually finish setting up for the day quite quickly.”

“What do you usually do while you wait to open?”

“I read. And eat breakfast… have you eaten yet?”

“Yeah, I had a piece of toast.”

Audrey shook her head. “That’s hardly breakfast.”

“It’s enough.” Gardner shrugged.

Audrey frowned. “It isn’t. I refuse to let you go on with your day starting with just a piece of toast.”

“You sound like my brother.” Gardner chuckled.

“Well I’m glad someone’s looking out for you.” She chuckled a little.

Gardner responded with a slight raise of his brows and a small grin as he looked down at her. Audrey, growing rather self-conscious being under his gaze with this close of proximity, bit her lip before walking towards her cart, breaking their eye contact.

Gardner let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in as he felt a cold rush wash over him once the warmth of her presence peeled away.

He was still frozen in his spot as Audrey spoke. “Sorry, but… I’m afraid I’m going to have to lock up, while I go out for breakfast. You’re welcome to come back when I open.”

Audrey was beginning to push her cart before Gardner finally turned to face her. “What if I was hungry?”

Audrey lifted her head up from her cart. Though her back was facing Gardner, she was listening.

“Maybe I wasn’t so full after that toast. I could…” He drew lips into a thin line as he scratched the back of his head. “I could join you…?”

Gardner wished he was able to read Audrey’s face, though he was stuck staring at the back of her head. A few seconds of silence had passed and Gardner was begging for her to make a noise to alleviate the tension. Though the noise that broke the silence, was the sound of her pushing her cart as she continued walking, not saying a single word in response.

Gardner’s mouth soon became agape as he watched her walk away. He turned around, lightly hitting his head against the bookshelf as the sound of her pushing the cart faded away in the distance. He muttered under his breath through gritted teeth. “You idiot…” he cursed in his head several times over wishing to undo the last few seconds.

Sighing defeatedly, he decided to retreat the library before she could see him. He briskly made his way downstairs, never being more relieved to see an exit sign as he headed towards the door.

He felt a discomforting rush as he heard footsteps rushing behind him. “Gardner.”

Gardner closed his eyes in dread. He sighed and turned around. “Look, Ezra, I’m s—“

“I was just fetching my cardigan and bag.” She said as she ruffled through her handbag for her keys. “Did you have anything particular in mind?”

“W-What?” Gardner blinked.

“To eat.” Audrey chuckled.

“Um… not really.” Gardner, still not processing the rush of relief he should’ve had, watched as she skipped towards the door.

Audrey looked over her shoulder as she opened the door. The sun that streamed in and surrounded her like a halo frame, beckoned him to walk out towards her.

“You coming?”

“Yeah…”


End file.
